The other day, my husband and I had this long and liberating conversation about comparison. The conversation got kickstarted from a bible study I had just attended and after the study, I sat down with him to process further. This processing then led to a full blown conversation filled with profound understandings and revelation. As we vulnerably peeled back the layers of places in our minds and hearts that we had never shared before...It became very clear to me that comparison is indeed costly. In this blog post, I would love to share a few of the key concepts discussed and seek to unpack, encourage and free you from making costly payments all in the name of comparison.
I want to note that not all comparison is harmful, some forms of comparison can actually be helpful motivators for us. A quick example could be me gleaning over the life of Jesus and being inspired and motivated to live a life like he did or rather, seeing my favorite influencer take her creativity to the next level, hence motivating me to take my content more seriously. See...the "C" word isn't all that bad right? But what then makes the "C" word so destructive and harmful? Ahh yes, let's sit and unpack that for a moment.
Comparison becomes destructive when we internalize the belief of our inability based off of our belief of someone's ability. In a more clear sense, comparison becomes harmful when we shrink, shy away from, freeze, accept complacency or believe the lie that we "cannot" based on another person or thing (that person may even be a past or future version of yourself).
Whew...now that we have sifted through some "C' word criteria, lets move on to the meat of this post. For the sake of making this post brief and concise, I will be selecting and sharing two reasons why comparison is costly. Let's begin..
2 Reasons Why Comparison Is Costly:
#1. Distrust in God: This concept actually hit me like a ton of bricks because as a believer, you never want to be told outright that you just aren't trusting God enough. Hear me out though, I may just have some points worth considering and wrestling with. When we feel the need to compare what we have/had to what someone has, what in us is believing a lie? The lie could be that "we don't have enough", or possibly that "we deserve what the other person has". When I think about these two thoughts, it pushes me to lean towards 1. The core belief and 2. The distrust in God. I believe trust is a fundamental factor because if we trusted God actively, then we would believe that what we have, where we are, who we are and what we do is enough based on the sovereignty of God. The scripture that comes to mind is Matthew 6:25-34, and although it talks in depth about worry and anxiety, it also highlights God's care, security and desire to provide for His children. So.. if you are supposed to have "it" you would.
#2. Wasting of Resources: You are probably wondering what exactly that resource is...well pick up a mirror and the first person that shows up is *ding ding ding*...you. YOU are the resource. We were all put on this earth for a divine purpose, some of us have unique giftings and callings and I am quite sure that it was not God's intention to give you your gifts or calling to just sit on. I love the phrase "Living For His Glory", not because it sounds cute and trendy, but because that is what I believe is one of our purposes on earth. Matthew 5:16 says "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven..." No, this does not mean post every good deed you do. Rather, through your use of gifts, bold declaration of your faith, love for Him...we point others back to Jesus.
I wanted to wrap up with a story from the Bible. Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, accused unjustly and sent to prison, yet found it ideal to use his gift while sitting in prison for a crime he did not commit. The use of his gift led to a promotion he could never have imagined, making him second in command to the king in Egypt. The promotion is not what I want you to mostly focus on, but instead to see that Joseph used his gift when NOBODY "important" was watching. He used his gift despite the fact that he could possibly be killed for the crime he was thought to have committed, but that did not stop him. He did not wait for the circumstance to be perfect, for the followers to come, for people to notice him...He used his gift where he was and with what he had.
So to end this post, I wanted to use this as an opportunity to provide encouragement for someone who may feel overlooked or has shied away from their calling or gifts. My hope and prayer is that you would be reminded of who you are and whose you are and that it would ignite a passion and purpose in your life. Amen.
Always with love,
-C
Thanks you Jennifer! Unhealthy comparison can definitely lead to envy. I love the idea of praying for a person when that comparison itch hits.
First of all you’re so eloquent!
Secondly, I’ve realized that unhealthy comparison can lead to envy. Whenever I find myself spiraling down that path, I immediately begin to pray for that person and thank God for all the ways that person is winning in life. It works every time! And with practice, you realize you don’t even compare anymore because you’re grateful for your portion and their portion. 😌